SoCalUNCENSORED.com - Southern California Pro Wrestling - Rev Pro Revolution J Pinnacle Review by Paul Newberry

Planes, Trains and Automobiles report PART TWO: Cruise Control! The 2004 Revolution J edition
By Paul "Mayfield" Newberry

I left The Newberry Mansion at about 1:10 PM. I start cruisin down the street in my six-fo` jockin the bitches, slappin the hoes… that is until I arrived at the world famous FRANK and SON’S (Note: to the other reviewers, it’s not “Sons” plural… it’s “Son’s” possessive sucka!) Collectable Showcase, for a day of Indy wrestling action. The typically horrid F&S parking lot was even worst than usual, so it takes me awhile to locate a spot. I see an empty spot, but then some jerk moves in on it like it was the holy freaking grail or something. I was tempted to get out of the car and stick his Magic Cards up his ass… but I decided against it… because that would mean I’d actually have to view said person’s large gas filled ass… thankfully, I was able to go a few hours with viewing a large person’s behind (keep reading for that exciting story…)

Anyway, I walk in… and much to my shock, the final installment of SoCal’s premier wrestling tournament only has 20 people in attendance! Come on people! As I silently curse SoCal for not knowing what they have here… I sit down and prepare to enjoy The J. I’m a huge fan of tourneys, and was at the previous 2 Rev J’s and found them highly entertaining.

Ok then the show starts… and I actually count about 50 people in attendance (though the crowd grew as the show progressed)

Oh before I get started, let me introduce you to the rating system I’ll be using. I like to call it the Joey Harder rating system, which goes:

Soft = Bad
Not so hard: OK, it has moments but is flawed for whatever reason.
Hard = Good
Rock Hard = Very good
JOEY HARDER = Great

Note: There were alot of matches and my memory isn’t that great for anything that doesn't star Jim Varney, so I’ll keep it somewhat short:

First Round

Scorpio Sky Vs. Scott Lost

Thoughts: Two of my favorites here, and they didn’t let me down. Great fast paced action from bell to bell. Really too much good stuff to call, but they Both hit a lot of their standard stuff and break out alot of neat backbreaker type knee moves (the knee is the new “pump handle” I'm guessing) In the end Sky makes Lost tap to the dreaded triangle choke. Afterward, Sky stands in the aisle way and holds up 4 fingers… My god could he be in collusion with the Four HORSEMEN! Oh wait then he puts one finger down… Holy cow! Now he’s joining The Triple Threat!

Well, either that or he only has 3 more matches left to go.

Rating: Rock Hard

Jason Styles Vs. Wild Storm

Thoughts: Jason Styles comes out a very manly song in Motley Crue’s “Girls, Girls, Girls” but then is announced as being from San Francisco! Which got a big time “Homo” chant. Then Styles breaks out the over the top gay mannerisms, which he seemed to know a little too well… if you know what I mean. Err anyway the match was OK, Storm did some lucha type stuff and Styles… just looked kind of gay. I was actually kinda bored while watching this, so I looked at my Rev J flyer and thought to myself, "Wow, take Jason Styles.. put the A before the J and drop the "son" and I'm watching AJ STYLES!"

In the end (maybe not a good choice words when speaking of Styles) Styles hits what looked like a Canadian Destroyer and gets the victory.

Rating: Not so Hard.

Super Dragon Vs. Dante

Thoughts: I was looking forward to this one, as Dante impressed me at AWS. Plus seeing the “Wrestlers of the Year” of their respective half’s of California should be very interesting. In the first half of the match, SD didn’t let Dante get in any offense. But later on Dante takes to the air and flies around, hitting a tornado DDT, The Chaos Theory, and a nice standing shooting star press. But it was all in vein, as SD finishes him off him a top rope double stomp to the head.

Rating: Hard, though I’m blanking on a lot of details. I remember really digging this one

UK Kid Vs. Disco Machine

Thoughts: Disco comes out, and does his standard dancing (which is always cool) then… enter my new favorite heel in SoCal (since Adam Pearce has dropped off the radar in feds I actually follow) the UK Kid! Kid got a huge amount of heel heat. He bashes the crowd, then threatens to leave and exchanges words with F&S regular Bobby Hill (Fun Fact: a name given to him by Frankie Kazarian at a PCW show in April 2003, "Shut up Bobby Hill". Man even when he's not here, that Frankie Kazarian's coolness is still felt) As for the match itself, I thought it was a lot of fun. I’m seriously blanking on details but I remember at one point, UK Kid puts on a Disco Machine mask and stands over him, dancing! That’s comedy my friends! Later Disco plants the Disco Bomb (same move that put Spanky down in Rev J 2001) but the Kid kicks out. UK Kid goes up to the top turnbuckle, but Disco catches him… and climps up with him, but UK Kid blocks it, and somehow turns it into a sick 2nd rope tombstone!!! (where did that one come from?) and gets the pinfall on the RevPro vet.

Rating: Hard, very entertaining match.

Chris Boshberry Vs. Hook Bomberry

Thoughts: Another match I was really looking forward to seeing, as Bomberry is great and Bosh has really become totally awesome in a matter of months. This one didn’t disappoint either. Start off with some very loud chops, Then Hook Bomberry seemingly turns into LUCHA HOOK~! And starts busting out rana’s and other lucha spots. Wow… I’ve never seen him do that. More good stuff follows… and Bosh hits some sort of bridge to get the hard fought victory. I’d really like to see a longer rematch one day…

Rating: Rock Hard, my 2nd favorite match of the show.

Joey Harder Vs. Hijo de Chupacabra

Thoughts: I’m sure, those of the elder generation remember where they were when they first layed eyes on the likes of Elvis, The Beatles, Wayne Newton, Cassius Clay, four of The Jackson kids and Michael Jordan for the first time. They just knew they were witnessing greatness and true history in the making. Well, October 16th 2004, those lucky enough to be at Revolution J also witnessed the dawning of a legend of our times… and that man is Harder, Joey Harder.

When he first came out, I heard the tones of RUSH’s “Tom Sawyer” playing, and thought to myself “Hooray, it’s that one Von Erich that didn’t kill himself!” but through the curtain stepped, a young man making his SoCal debut by the name of Joey Harder. Then entered, Hijo de Chupacabra (out of the CALIFA promotion in NoCal) a little guy with a mask on. That the fans seemed to like…

As for the match, honestly, I was so in awe of the spectacle that was Joey Harder that I lost my train of thought. But I do remember seeing some good stuff in this contest. Including H.D.C. hitting Sliced Bread #2 on Harder, but Harder kicking out like a true champion. I forget how but Harder pinned Chupacabra. And advanced to the next round…

Rating: Joey Harder

Quicksilver Vs. Human Tornado

Thoughts: Starts off with a bang, as Silver is walking around the ring posing to the crowd, Tornado does a truly amazing somersault dive on to Silver! (one of the first times I’ve ever seen him really connect with that) and then they start fight around ringside and Tornado uses the most feared foreign object of all time… a Bottle of Sprite! Obey your thirst indeed. A lot of other fun stuff in this match, but I’m not remembering at the moment. Quicksilver finishes off SoCal’s hugely popular P.I.M.P. with a pile driver and advances.

Rating: ROCK Hard. I liked this one a lot, one of my favorites of the night.

JJ Perez Vs. Dana Lee

Thoughts: Disturbed’s “Prayer” hits and I’m like "Damn Right! The MESSIAH is here!" Then some Adam Sandler looking guy hits the ring, and we’re told it’s “Double J” JJ Perez. OK, my first time seeing him, but I’ve heard good things about him. Then “Kung Fu Fighting” hits, and out comes Dana Lee before the song really kicks, acting all serious. UNWRITTEN RULE: If you use a wacky theme song. Don’t act all serious while entering! Blows the effect.

OK anyway I’d never seen either of these guys before, and frankly I thought JJ looked good and Dana did some OK flips n’ kicks. But overall it didn’t work for me for some reason. Maybe it was an off night perhaps… JJ wins somehow… I don’t remember… but I do however remember the Alamo if that counts for anything.

Rating: Not so hard.

End of Round One. I have to say that was probably one of the best Rev J opening rounds yet.

2nd Round:

Scorpio Sky Vs. Jason Styles

Thoughts: OY VAY, Jason Styles went from just standard Freddy Mercury gay, right past Elton John and right to FLAMING “Rob Feinstein/Harvey Fierstein” prefered costumer at the Blue Öyster GAY as he entered with a feather boa on (also props to the guy sitting next to Bobby Hill in the front row who kept waving at Styles. That made me laugh, unlike a few Robin Williams movies I’ve seen… save for Popeye) Fairly short match with Sky hitting the Final Answer and then forcing Styles to tap out.

Note to RevPro: Next show, Styles Vs. Angel, West Hollywood street fight… book it.

Honestly Styles did play his part pretty well, really got the crowd going...

Rating: Not so hard.. really too short.

Super Dragon Vs. UK Kid

Thoughts: This one was originally set for PWG’s The Next Show, but was later changed to UK Kid Vs. American Dragon, which allowed us to witness Super Dragon Vs. Chris Hero One.

SD enters and gets right in Bobby Hill’s face; I was half expecting Hank Hill, Boomhower and his neighbor Kahn Souphanousinphone Sr. to jump in here.

On the match, another highly entertaining affair with UK Kid heeling it up, and SD beating him up. I don’t recall many details other than UK Kid shouting to the crowd “Where’s your Super Dragon now?” (Reminded me of that classic WWF SNME Hulk Hogan Vs. Bad News Brown match where Bad News was like “Look at your hero now! It’s ghetto blaster time fool” but Hogan ducks it and is able to put BNB away) UK Kid tries for another super tombstone but SD blocks it with a super underhook suplex. Later the Psycho Driver finishes it. Afterward they announced “moving on the next round to face Scorpio Sky” getting me all pumped for what’s sure to be an awesome match.

Rating: Hard

Joey Harder Vs. Chris Bosh

Thoughts: Joey Harder entered, and at least 4 women fainted. Then Bosh comes out and I’m looking forward to what should be a great match. But Bosh announces something about being too injured from last weeks’ incredible Scott Lost/Chris Bosh Vs. SD/B-Boy – PWG match. Forfeits his spot and gives Harder a bye in the next round.

But I know the truth; Bosh was just ducking Harder, because he’s too scared of losing to wrestling’s newest demi god.

Rating: Joey Harder.

Quicksilver Vs. JJ Perez

Thoughts: Really short match with Quicksilver getting a quick win with a small package. And it then appeared to me that they were trying to kill time for some reason.

Rating: N/A too short

End of round two: Some good stuff like UK Kid-SD but overall I'd say the worst RevJ 2nd round ever.

INTERMISSION TIME! They set up the cage. I spot The US Navy’s own Bobby Quance in the crowd. And think of how awesome it would have been in he were in the tourney.

Steel Cage Match for the Revolution Pro Tag Team Championships Los Sanchos (American Wild Child & Angel) Vs. Big E. Biggz & Lonestar

Thoughts: Good enough match, Angel starts it off with a huge cross body off the top of the cage. Then it all becomes a blur of chairshots and Biggie Biggs’ bigg ass. Mid match some Asian women dressed in yellow runs in and does something (Am I an expert analyst or what?) later on finally the team of AWC and Angel get the victory after a wrestling move of some sort.

Then afterward, AWC (RevPro’s owner for anyone who doesn’t know) announces his retirement and the end of Revolution Pro. Then he really puts over SoCal and I THINK announces RevPro’s final show Nov. 21 in Hollywood. Nice promo…

Rating: Hard

Then I’m all set for what should be an amazing Super Dragon Vs. Scorpio Sky match, when it’s announced that the finals would be an elimination 4-way. Oh WTF? RevJ is always 4 rounds, Heck they even announced SD Vs. Sky, Earlier Sky has holding up 4 not 3 fingers, Maybe they were rushed by Frank & Sons? Because during the match I hear over in the F&S collectable show portion some guy over the PA guy telling people to get out and later “perhaps he was not making himself clear.. get out” or something… whoever that was.. shut up yo mouth bitch, I'm watching Joey Harder over. here

Whatever the story is, I demand Michael Moore do a documentary about it.

Finals

Scorpio Sky Vs. Quicksilver Vs. Super Dragon Vs. Joey Harder

Thoughts: SD enters, then Sky, Silver, then the hour of the hour, too sweet to be sour, JOEY HARDER enters and gets a thunderous pop and a loud chant of “Harder, Harder, Harder” And it was clear that a new force in the world of wrestling had arrived, and that force was HARDER Baby.

On the match: Almost like an AXP Vs. Super Harder tag match for the first part. Freaking hilarious part where SD curb stomps Silver and Harder looks on approvingly. And then Joey tries it himself and curb stomps Silver to a huge pop. PROVING THAT ANYTHING THAT IS WORTH DOING IS WORTH DOING HARDER! SD seems amused with his new sidekick, later SD does the Violence Party and Harder then mimics him. Could we be seeing the beginning of the next great tag team? Well. No, as that bastard Super Dragon must have been jealous of Harder’s new found popularity and betrays him! Then plants our Hero with a sick Super Natural Driver and finally puts the brave Joey Harder away. Harder may have lost the tournament… but he ended up winning our hearts. Harder 10/16 Never Forget

Though it seemed that eliminating his ally, Joseph F'N Harder spelt the beginning of the end for Super Dragon (who’s been a finalist in all four Revolution Js) even after hitting an amazing tope con HELLO (!) in to the crowd, and breaking out an old favorite in the Top Rope Blue Thunder Bomb. The numbers were still too much to overcome as he falls to a nice 450 splash at the hands of Sky.

And then… there were two. The long time friends and partners had to go thru each other in order to realize their dream of winning the J. After a good series of exchanges, Sky attempts a top rope reverse rana but ends up sending them both crashing hard (but not Harder) to the floor. When they recovered, Sky was able to pin Silver and win, the 4th and final Revolution J.

Afterward, Sky tries to shake Quicksilver’s hand but is met with a slap upside the head. Several people then enter the ring and cooler heads prevail. Maybe a final Quicksilver Vs. Scorpio Sky showdown at RevPro's finale?

Rating: Joey Harder, Very entertaining match. Congrats to Scorpio Sky, he really deserved this one.

Overall: Some really good stuff here. Bosh Vs. Bomberry, Tornado Vs. Quicksilver, Lost Vs. Sky, SD’s stuff, UK Kid’s hilarious antics, and of course the admergence of the 2004 Rookie of the Year, Joey Harder. Heck, even at it’s worst the show was still very solid.

But sadly I’d also call this the worst Rev J to date. They just didn’t make the Tournament seem special like they did in past years. No opening group entrances, no streamers for the finals like they did in previous installments. Plus it seemed very rushed, Bosh forfeiting, JJ-Silver ending so quick, the bizarre choice of a 4-way final. A whole host of other things. Yeah it was a good show… but with a little more work it could have been a great show.

PTA Breakdown:
Best Matches: 4-way final, Bosh Vs. Bomberry, Sky Vs. Lost
Spot of the show: UK Kid Tombstones Disco Machine off the turnbuckle
Breakout star of the show: Your Daddy, Joey Harder. (NOTE TO PWG, AWS, UPW, WWE, All Japan, ZERO ONE, NJPW-USA, CZW, ROH, 3PW, IWA:MS Book Joey Harder… now. The dude is money
I didn’t need to see that moment of the show: Angel pulling Biggie Biggz pants down. Gayest looking wrestler on the show: Jason Styles (Sorry Angel, try HARDER next time)

Anyway, I pick up some flyers, walk to the car and drive home… blah blah blah do you really care?

Thanks for reading the historic 2nd Edition of the PLANES, TRAINS and AUTOMOBILES Report. Look for more of these, along with my usual PWG Previews in the coming weeks and months.