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[Editor's Note: This is not an official Pro Wrestling Guerrilla preview. This was done by fans, for fans.]

PWG: Use Your Illusion 3 Preview
by Paul Newberry aka "bWo Stevie"

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." - Albert Einstein

Hello, SoCalUncensored! if you've been reading the message board, you may have noticed my series of PWG Previews (that I like to call "Thoughts and Predictions" yes it took me a whole 3 seconds to think of that name) Well, it is now with much pride that I present to you, my preview for PWG's "Use Your Illusion 3" event. It's a true testament to the fact, that I really need to find something better to do with my free time. Enjoy!

I'd also like to thank my friends at Paradise City Ninjas for posting this as well. So check that site out, knowing you I think you'll enjoy it (not that I actually know you or anything)

Coming off their very eventful "The Next Show" PWG is set to once again unload on the wrestling world, this time with a huge two part rock opera entitled Use Your Illusion 3 & 4! on Oct. 9th and Oct. 23rd!

However, this event will be a somber one for fans of PWG. As it will feature the final PWG appearance of Bobby Quance before he joins the United States Navy in hope to become a Navy SEAL.

So to help commemorate this and to honor the rich history of the US Navy and The Navy SEALS... I proudly present "The 1st annual 'Thoughts and Predictions' salute to the United States NAVY!" In-between each match write up, I will be presenting facts and random information about The NAVY. In an effort to help you the reader, better understand the world Mr. Quance is about to enter (And no, I'm not at all doing this, just to pad this out because only 4 matches are announced)

Let's get to the matches:...

Track One: Double Talkin' Jive
The Aerial Express (Quicksilver & Scorpio Sky) vs. S.B.S. (Disco Machine & Excalibur)

Last time, on a very special Trapper John, MD:

SBS: The last few months haven't been kind to the team of Disco Machine and Excalibur. In their last two PWG appearances, they managed to drop two sure victories due to simple miscommunications. The first to Los Rojo Locos at "The Secret of the Ooze" and most recently at "The Next Show" to Disco's former charges The Bollywood Bombshells. After that match, Disco proclaimed that it was now time for them to get serious and to finally get The SBS band back together. Now more determined ever... The SBS are back and ready to rule the PWG tag scene.

The Panda Express: When last we saw The AXP as a unit in PWG, they were victorious in an 8-man tag at "A Reason for the Season" Things seemed to looking up for the AXP in PWG, however their progress was slowed, due to Scorpio Sky having to miss the last couple PWG shows due to his being on tour with Osaka Pro and Bon Jovi in Japan. But now on Oct. 9th after a several month absence, Scorpio Sky will finally make his PWG return. Which means that much like R&B duo Peaches and Herb, the AXP are "reunited!" and the 2003 SoCal Tag Team of the year are ready to once again rule the PWG Tag scene!

So at PWG's "Use your Illusion 3" both these teams will be looking to return to prominence in the PWG tag team scene. But in order to do so, they will have to go through each other. It's a match both teams must win and a match neither team can afford to lose!

Past History?: First ever match between these particular tag combinations, but these teams do have quite a history. In PWG alone we've seen:
Disco Machine & Excalibur Vs. Quicksilver & Chris Bosh - AYAPTR?
SBS Vs. AXP & Chris Bosh -Taste The Radness
The Guerrilla Games match featuring all four - 88 Miles Per Hour
Excalibur/Super Dragon Vs. Quicksilver and Chris Bosh - The Musical
Scorpio Sky Vs. Disco Machine - The Musical
AXP/LRL Vs. Disco and Company - Reason for the season
Not to mention all the matches Disco has had with the AXP in other SoCal feds such as Revolution Pro.

PWG records?: Quicksilver is 6-7, Sky is 5-6, 2-1 as a duo. Excalibur is 6-7, Disco is 5-10, 1-3 as a duo.

My Thoughts?: I've seen many different combinations of this match before in PWG, RevPro ETC and I've thought they've all been very good, and no doubt this one will be no different. Actually thinking about it, I can't think of an AXP match I haven't really enjoyed. However beside this being a solid match wrestling wise, also consider all of the comedic potential this one has! With these four in there this could be the funniest match since Manute Bol met William 'The Refrigerator' Perry on Fox's Celebrity Boxing! Not much more can be said about this.. other than be ready to be entertained... TO THE XTREME!

My Prediction: I have to go with the AXP here. Setting them up for a future title shot.

Now let's begin the
1st annual 'Thoughts and Predictions' salute to the United States NAVY!" Act One: FILM
The best way to get today's youth to really learn about important issues is through the mediums of film and the dramatic arts. With that in mind, I thought we'd start our gala tribute to the Navy with my suggestions for a bitchin' Navy themed motion picture film fest! Hope you have your popcorn ready!

My suggestions:

G.I. Jane (1997) Starring a pre-Ashton era Demi Moore. Every now and then, that rare motion picture comes along that deeply touches your heart and changes the way you look at life forever... unfortunately this isn't that movie. It is however, the life-assuring tale of Lt. Jordan O'Niel, a test female Navy SEAL trainee. Who is set up to the fail by the white male oppressors. Who want to prove that women don't belong in the SEALS and should just be thankful they get to vote. Can she survive the intensely brutal SEAL training? Will she overcome the odds and prove them wrong without breaking a nail? Spoiler alert: Predictably yeah she does, but also ends up finding herself in the process... You go girl!
Abbott and Costello's In the Navy (1941) You’re enlisted... for hilarity! As Dick Powell plays a popular crooner who is tired of the pressure of fame and enlists incognito in the US navy! Along the way he encounters famous funnymen Abbott and Costello! Who perform a number of their funniest routines. Yes, it's all 30's style vaudeville gags and singing (including the hit number "In the Navy Now") from the word go. It also features a cameo from Three Stooges Legend Shemp Howard!!! Now that's a spicy meatball!
Navy vs. the Night Monsters, The (1966) Starring famed Matinee Idol Mamie Van Doren and some ah other dudes. The movie is actually really terrible... and just an excuse for the rather well proportioned Miss Van Doren to run around screaming. Actually half way though this thing I started running around screaming. The Plot? Well actually the title gives the plot away. Basically our Navy boys and Miss Van Doren kick alot of goofy looking monster ass... and end up finding themselves in the process. You go girl!
Navy SEALS (1990) starring Charlie Sheen and Michael Biehn. Often called the "Citizen Kane" of Navy SEAL movies... but in my opinion it's more like the "Citizen Ruth" of Navy SEAL movies. Basically Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn and Kyle Reese track down bad guys with big guns and look badass while they do it. This movie was also immortalized in the 1994 Kevin Smith film "Clerks" via this snappy quotable:
Randal Graves: "They never rent quality flicks. They always pick the most intellectually devoid movies on the rack."
Customer: "OOOOH! NAVY SEALS!"
So yeah, if you only see one movie entitled "Navy SEALS" this year... umm make it this one!

So there you go, so run out to Blockbuster (or a rental place that doesn't totally blow) now and spend the night with the Navy! (much like a hooker at the docks!) It's the American thing to do.

Fun Navy SEAL Fact: "SEAL" is an acronym for Sea, Air and Land (named after the environments in which they operate) The Navy SEALs are the military's most elite unit, they go anywhere to fight for and protect America! (Kind of like GI Joe)

Track Two: Perfect Crime
Puma vs. The UK Kid

Last time on Pro Wrestling Guerrilla: Special Victims Unit!
Puma & The Havana Pitbulls defeated Daniels/B-Boy/Quance in a 6-man tag that many claimed stole the show. This time around the virtuosic PUMA goes it alone and looks to further his standing in the singles ranks (and if you want to go by Won-Loss records, PUMA is one of the most successful singles wrestlers ever in PWG)

Blimey! The UK Kid made his PWG debut at "The Next Show" in a losing effort against American Dragon. During which some said he acted like a total boggin gobshite. But I'd blinkin' disagree with that rubbish. This bloke is no nutter... he knows his onions when it comes to wrestling. All you tossers better recognize! and Bob's your Uncle (or whatever those crazy Australians like to say)

On Oct. 9th, It's the Texas Wrestling Academy Vs. The Inoki Dojo, As the kid from the UK intends to get his prove his worth to the bloody yanks by defeating PUMA. Will he succeed? or will he become just another notch in PUMA's fashionable puma-skin belt?

Past History?: None to my knowledge. Which is saying something, because I even know what the word pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis means!

PWG records?: Puma is an impressive 8-1 as a single (with victories over Ricky Reyes, Vito Thomaseli, Brad Bradley, Josh Prohibition, Black Tigers, Zokre, Phoenix Star, Charles Mercury and Tony Kozina) UK Kid is 0-1

Thoughts?: Before I get to my thoughts on the match, you know what I found out while "researching" this? The UK Kid's real name is Tom Jones! Which inspired me to share this joke:
"This guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I can't stop singing certain songs. All morning I've been humming 'The Green, Green Grass Of Home.' Yesterday it was, 'Delilah.' Last week I sang 'What's New Pussycat?' at least 100 times! What's wrong with me?"
The Doctor says, "Sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome to me."

The man says, "Never heard of that. Is it common?"

Doc says, "It's not unusual."

Ha ha it's funny because you see his name is Tom Jones... like the popular singer of the same name! Who recorded the song "It's not unusual" and many other popular modern recordings! It works on a lot of levels, kind of like the movie Jumanji.

Anyway unlike his famous namesake, this Tom Jones isn't a full-throated, robust baritone, but rather is quite an accomplished wrestler and a booming tenor. Last time in PWG, I thought he looked pretty good in his match with American Dragon last month (though even Winston Churchill could look good in there with American Dragon and he's been dead 40 years) and he drew alot of heel heat seemingly for just being British! ( Though in fairness most British people I know get that response from large crowds)

Tom Jones' opposition this time around is PUMA! Now if you've ever seen PUMA perform, you know just how good he can be. I also say he generally performs rather well against wrestlers with styles similar to the UK Kid's. So expect a solid match here, that just may surprise you.

My Prediction: PUMA takes his one.

1st annual 'Thoughts and Prediction' Salute to the United States NAVY!" Act two: Famous Navy SEALS you may have heard of!:

Pro Wrestling Legend and former governor of Minnesota, Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Rudy Boesch of TV's Survivor
Richard Marcinko, aka Demo Dick (that's a nickname you don't see much anymore), aka Shark Man of the Delta: famously controversial writer and military advisor.
Bob Kerrey Former US Senator and Governor of Nebraska.
My great uncle Benny also was a Navy Frogman (a precursor to the Navy SEALS).... eh well I've heard of him anyway.

Fun Navy SEAL Fact: The training for the Navy SEALS is considered the most intense in all the military. The training regime is so punishing that it has over a 60% dropout rate.

October 9th, on this date in Naval History: October 9th, 1943-The Destroyer Buck DD-420 is sunk by an enemy submarine off the coast Italy.

Track Three: Locomotive (Complicity)
B-Boy vs. "Photogenic" Chris Bosh

In our last issue..:
At "The Next Show" B-Boy made his return to PWG as part of a outstanding 6-man tag W/ Quance and Daniels Vs. Havana Pitbulls and PUMA. In which he came out on the losing end, falling victim to the Cuban Missile Crisis (um the wrestling move not the ah actual Missile Crisis) Can B-Boy recapture the "Eye of the tiger" and break his recent losing streak?

A Bosh Tale: Thus far in PWG, Bosh has mainly been known as a tag team wrestler (10 out of his 13 PWG appearances were in tag matches) But at PWG's "Next Show" Bosh finally got to the chance to go it alone in PWG. He quickly capitalized on the opportunity and was victorious in a hard fought 3-way dance over Quicksilver and the returning Hook Bomberry. After the match it was clear, that Bosh really needed to pull his damn pants up... and umm that he had finally arrived on the PWG single scene.

Now on October 9th at PWG's latest rock opus "Use Your Illusion 3" in order to prove himself and take his next step into superstardom, Christopher Boshinoku will have to go through one of the top players ever in SoCal, B-Boy! It's Shining Wizard Vs. The Steiner Screwdriver, Will Bosh be up to the task? Or he turn out to be just another bitch smoked by the New Age Punisher?

Past History?: To my knowledge is a first ever in ring meeting.

Overall PWG records?: ?: B-Boy is 7-4 and Chris Bosh is 5-8

Fun PWG Fact: Both men are former co-holders of the PWG Tag Titles

My Thoughts?: This is my pick for the sleeper match of the night. With that being said, I'd like to move us right along to Chris Bosh. We had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him! err anyway as I've mentioned in other previews, Bosh is really someone to look out for in SoCal. He's improved drastically in the past year, already having a SoCal MOTYC in Revolution Pro. In which he defeated SoCal's top star Super Dragon to win the RevPro title. Which should have been his breakout match.... but sadly that match still hasn't been released and alot of fans still think of Bosh as he was in 2003. But all you doubters take heed, the wrestling world will know Chris Bosh... sooner rather than later. This time around Bosh will be facing another one of SoCal's top stars "The Best of the West" tourney winner (at least according to the 7 people who attended that show) B-Boy. Now B-Boy should be no stranger to even those not very familiar with SoCal wrestling, due to his many appearances with CZW and IWA:MS. The New Age Punisher has more than held his own against the world's top talent and is not someone to be messed with....

Honestly, I think this one has loads of potential and should be an intensely heated contest, as the crowd loves B-Boy and despises the ground Chris Bosh walks on. This could turn out to be another breakout match for Chris Bosh (if he can keep his pants on) Overall, I guess what I'm really trying to say is that this match should be totally trippendicular to the max!!!!!

My Prediction:Chris Bosh pulls an upset. And then watcha gonna do when Boshamania runs wild on you?!

1st annual 'Thoughts and Prediction' Salute to the United States NAVY!" Act Three. RANDOM STUFF!
Ok we've already covered film, so now let's take a look at some other famous Navy Themed products!

TV:
Thunder in Paradise (1993) starring Terry "Hulk" Hogan. The not so classic syndicated TV show about the wacky misadventures of a zany Ex-Navy SEAL. We all know that as an actor, Hulk Hogan is no Marlon Brando or even Marlin Perkins, he is still always good for MST3Kish laughs and remorseful sorrow....

Video Games:
SOCOM II: U.S. Navy SEALs for The Playstation 2 and PC. SOCOM is a First Person Shooter (FPS) that is probably one of the best out there today. You lead a group of Navy SEALS in squad-based missions like a disarming bombs and ordering out for Thai Food. This game is a favorite among online dorks everywhere. With this game, now you too can live the life of a Navy SEAL while sitting on your fat ass eating Guacamole flavored Doritos! USA! USA!! USA!!!

Music:
"In The Navy" by The Village People. The popular disco themed hit from the 1979 album "Go West". "In the Navy," spoke to the youth of American (via the popular disco form of music of course) of all the wondrous things the Naval branch of the armed forces had to offer! The US Navy even briefly considered using 'In The Navy' as their recruitment song until its full implications were pointed out! So blast this tune loud and proud and show your support for the boys in Navy Blue!

Reading Material:
U.S. Navy: A Complete History (U.S. Military Series) by M. Hill Goodspeed. President George Bush has said "I heartily recommend U.S. Navy: A Complete History. This wonderful history should be seen by all students in all schools" But then again... he has also choked on a pretzel. This handy dandy book gives you a year-by-year summary of all the noteworthy naval activities from 1775 until the present. Great pick up if you are interested in the Navy and it's history.

Fun Navy Fact: As of August 1998 The total US Navy personnel is 380,600. That's 1.31 Navy personnel per 1000 people in the US.

Track Four: Don't Cry (Original)
Bobby Quance's PWG Farewell Match
"Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels vs. Bobby Quance

Backstory!: The Navy SEALS have a few questions for you..... Are you motivated to succeed? Are you determined to persevere? Are you ready to accelerate your life? If so consider a career in Naval Special Warfare (NSW). We're seeking smart, fit, hardworking young men from all backgrounds to join our team of SEAL operators! It is a career that offers unmatched challenges, adventure and job satisfaction to motivated candidates!

Well as you may have heard or seen on Oprah, PWG superstar Bobby Quance has bravely answered that challenge and is ready to embark on a six year stay in The United States Navy! But not before he completes one more mission in PWG.... and it could prove to be perhaps his biggest challenge to date, as he will be facing Christopher Daniels! Who is without a doubt, one of the most respected wrestlers in the entire industry.

Will Bobby Quance be able to leave PWG as a winner? Or will the challenge of Christopher Daniels prove too much for him to overcome?Find out on October 9th as PWG bids farewell to one of it's own.

Past History?: none that I'm aware of. But they were partners in a 6-man at the last PWG show.

PWG records?: Christopher Daniels is 3-1 in singles matches (4-4 overall) Quance is 2-4 overall

Thoughts?: It doesn't take an avid viewer of "Law & Order" to decipher that this is going to be a special match. So I'll keep this short... Christopher Daniels needs no introduction, as he is arguably one of the best on this or possibly any other planet. He's worked everywhere and probably won everything. Daniels is like Dominos Pizza, in that you can always count on him to deliver in 30 minutes or less!

"Shooting Star" Bobby Quance, of course is one of the best talents the West Coast has to offer. With his entertaining high flying, excellent mat work and dreaded Polish Hammer, he has quickly become one of SoCal's favorites. During his career he's been apart of 2 SoCal matches of the year; He's appeared with CMLL in Mexico, MLW and just recently has made a huge splash on the East Coast with in CZW and with NJPW in Japan. Indeed, Bobby Quance's star has never been more luminous then it is at this very point. But sadly for us fans this will be his last hurrah in wrestling, but much to his credit he is going out on his own terms and at the peak of his ability and investing his efforts for a much more worthy cause. You would have to assume that this is a must match for Quance and that he'd be looking to make his apparent last match ever (I'm not sure if he has any other appearances set after this one) something special, and with Daniels as his final opponent... I think Bobby Quance will get a going away match to remember.

My Prediction: Very tough one, but I think Christopher Daniels will take this one.

Fun Navy SEAL Fact!: The SEALS among other things are experts in many of forms of Guerrilla Warfare.... coincidence? yeah probably.

Another Fun NAVY Fact: In commemoration of past and present services of the US Navy. NAVY Day is observed on October 27th of every year. That date also marks the anniversary of the formation of the NAVY in the year 1775.!

What's that you say? they are making a "Sandlot 2"? the police are harshing your mellow? chocolate... for breakfast? a unified Germany? Only 4 matches on this show?

Well I can answer that last one, NO WAY Dude... that's just the tip of the PWG iceberg! PWG usually has about 7-8 matches per show... so it's safe to expect 3 or 4 other matches to be added. I'd be willing to bet that PWG has something big up their sleeves for this one....

Also set to appear: Samoa Joe, Super Dragon, Joey Ryan, Hook Bomberry, Top Gun Talwar, and Scott Lost picks his new partner for the PWG Tag Team Titles!

So what else could be in store for us here? Well.... perhaps...

The Samoa Joe-Super Dragon feud: At "The Secret of the ooze" Samoa Joe punished Super Dragon so severely, that he could not return to the ring by the Referee's 20 count and suffered a count out loss. But Samoa Joe made one huge mistake... he didn't finish the job. So the next month at the "next show" during Samoa Joe's PWG title match against Frankie Kazarian... Super Dragon ran out and delivered a message to Samoa Joe and that message was: "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die" after a huge altercation (also involving Joe's other arch rival American Dragon) the match was halted. Super Dragon had cost Samoa Joe the PWG championship. On October 9th in Hollywood California, how will Samoa Joe extract his revenge on the man who robbed him of the PWG title? What else could the vengeful Super Dragon have in store for Samoa Joe? Clearly something huge is brewing here, this feud is like the Mount St. Helens of PWG, you never know when it'll erupt again.

Scott Lost picks new partner: "Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb" - Dark Helmet. And at PWG's last event, that statement rang true. As the villainous Scott Lost (and new allies The First Family) outwitted Joey Ryan to gain victory in a ladder match to capture sole possession of the prized PWG Tag Titles. But the question... still remained... who would Lost select as his new partner? Now at "Use Your Illusion 3" that question will finally be answered. Just whom will he select as his new championship partner? Could it be: Lost's X-Foundation partner Tommy Williams? One of the First Family's members? Kazarian? Babi Slymm? Brad Bradley? Jenna Bush? Chris Bosh? Spanky? Alfalfa? John Edwards? John Heidenreich? Samoa Joe? Super Dragon? Ultimo Dragon? Puff The Magic Dragon? Hook Bomberry? Kenny Kaos? Teddy Hart? Teddy Roosevelt? Teddy Ruxpin? Teddy Danson? or perhaps maybe it'll be someone no one would ever expect (Remember PWG has surprised us in the past with major unadvertised names) and just what will Joey Ryan have to say about this? Will the new champions be defending their titles? Is there a Santa Claus? Find out on October 9th as the PWG Title landscape is changed.... forever.

There you have it, this could shape up to be the sleeper PWG event of the year. So if you happen to be in or near the Los Angeles area, please come and check this one out live and help give Bobby Quance a send off to remember. Bring a few a few friends! Make it a class field trip! Have a family reunion! And what better early Christmas gift is there, then a night of PWG action!

For official details please visit: http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com/news

If you don't live in the area, SHAME ON YOU! What you think you are too good to live in the area? What the hell is your damage man? You sicken me... Seriously though if you can't make the show, then be sure to pick up one of PWG's many excellent DVD releases at either http://www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com or http://www.highspots.com, Including the newly released PWG Anniversary super show "Reason for the Season" called by many the best show in PWG history (including the epic Frankie Kazarian Vs. Adam Pearce Loser leaves town Cage match, SD Vs. CM Punk in an intense 30 minute war, Samoa Joe/Ricky Reyes Vs. American Dragon/Chris Daniels, AJ Styles Vs. Rocky Romero, Joey Ryan Vs. Scott Lost and more) and "The Secret of the Ooze" (featuring the first meeting between Super Dragon and Samoa Joe, Frankie Kazarian Vs. Colt Cabana, PUMA Vs. Josh Prohibition, CM Punk, a Tag gauntlet and more!) and while you are there, why not pick up a stylish PWG T-shirt! Heck, just sign your life savings over to PWG already... you'd just waste it on material items to rot your teeth and your mind anyway, you selfish bastard.

That's about it, I'd like to thank you all for reading, please leave any feedback or Transformers: The Movie references you may want to add right here or email it to newberrypcn@yahoo.com I'd be glad to hear it....

Ok, now I'd like to end this one on a serious note and give my thanks to Bobby Quance, not only for all he has given the world of wrestling but for having the guts and sheer bravery to defend our great country as part of the US Navy. So I'd just like to say, bon voyage, Bobby Quance. We won't forget you....

So until next time, this is Paul Newberry saying... Yvan Eht Nioj.